How to know if it is love or desire

Relationships can be somewhat complex and on many occasions the specific situation or person can cause a mixture of feelings to occur within us that we find difficult to define. What is love and what is desire? Why do we tend to confuse both feelings? If you find yourself in any of these dilemmas, you have come to the right article. At Afrihot we want to help you discover how to know if it is love or desire . Between these there are some differences that, in many cases, are almost imperceptible or difficult to determine, but that if you pay attention to your situation you will be able to unmask. Physical attraction or romance? Below, we give you the answer.

The reaction you have to this person

Love and desire are two different things and they tend to be confused because both are feelings, often excessive, that a specific person awakens in us. In this sense, your cerberus can help you determine if your feelings go beyond the physical and are about falling in love.

Studies, such as those carried out by The Journal of sexual medicine, measured the brain response of several people by showing them photographs or erotic images in front of photographs of their loved ones, friends or family. The result of this study showed that desire was manifested through pleasure and lasted just a few minutes, while love and affection was a brain stimulus that could last up to several hours.

Looking at this exercise, we could say that if after talking to or seeing that person who arouses interest in you, their image and memory lasts for hours and the feeling of emotion or happiness is maintained over time, it is most likely that It's about love . On the other hand, if the reaction is only momentary and the pleasure lasts a few minutes and then you do not feel happiness or emotion that lasts longer, then we talk about physical attraction or desire .

Individual or joint thinking?

Another key to differentiating love and desire is the type of thought you direct towards that person. When you feel desire or lust, you are focusing on your needs or your goal individually. For this reason, sexual desire is usually understood as a whim.

However, when you are in love your goals and needs become a common theme. It is true that you stop thinking only through the "I" to start using the "I" and the "we" , depending on the topic you are considering. Integrating a person into your plans, telling them your wishes, taking their opinion into account, setting joint goals or making future plans, even if only in your head, will be a sign that what you are feeling is love .

The thoughts you have in different situations with him or her

You hear his name, you see his photo, you are about to have a date or a meeting... If your thoughts focus only on sex or sexual fantasy, it is about desire . The big difference between desire and love is, precisely, that desire has to do with an impulse of a sexual nature, in which one seeks to obtain immediate gratification without having to meet friends or family, without having a greater interest. for their tastes or hobbies or to have a deep conversation.

For its part, love is reflected through commitment and trust, always trying to create a romantic atmosphere of interest and concern. Furthermore, when you fall in love, that person becomes your priority, your support and the person with whom you will always want to make future plans. The connection is deeper and you need to know everything about this person, be in their life and vice versa.

The heart also speaks

In addition to everything our brain tells us, it is also important to listen to our heart . Both love and desire cause the heartbeat to increase. How to differentiate them?

If the increase in heart rate is momentary or only occurs when the topic is related to sexual encounters, we can say that it is about desire. However, if this acceleration occurs at various times both during a physical date and during a call or as your body's reaction to a thought that arises related to this person, we can say that it is love.

The tone of voice you use

The tone of voice we use can also be a key that helps us differentiate between love and desire for a person. If it is about physical attraction or sexual desire, the tone of voice is usually higher , because the interest is to attract attention, make yourself noticed and be seen.

However, when it comes to love, the tone of voice is usually more natural , it does not vary too much from what you use on other occasions in your life, because you feel comfortable and connected enough to not have to attract attention, because it is not It's about a single moment.

Face or body?

What do you usually focus on more, the face or the body? Although it may seem like a banal question, you should know that it can be a way to differentiate love from desire.

If you observe a person's face more and not just their body, you don't lose any detail of their gestures, their facial expression, their smile, their gaze or even their hair, we can talk about falling in love . However, if you look at his face, but you still look more at the body and the general image of this person, it is probably just desire , at least for now, because it is a physical and sexual attraction.

Can desire become love?

This is one of the most frequently asked questions and the answer is simple: yes, desire can become love . Sexual desire can cross the border and transform into love when this attraction lasts over time, that is, attachment can result in this conversion. When we talk about attachment we are referring to that feeling of security and comfort that is felt in the proximity of the desired or loved person. This attachment gives a new meaning to the relationship and our feelings, because it provides us with security, stability and certainty that the person will always be there for us when we need them.

Although many relationships begin without a feeling of love, but with a simple sexual desire or a physical and/or intellectual attraction, spending time together and lengthening this physical connection over time, turning the desire into something lasting, can cause the emotions related to desire. They become more romantic, since little by little you get to know the person better and, therefore, you can fall in love with them or not.